a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
