why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Randomize
