i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
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