So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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