you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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