Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Sext me about skeletons
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
