Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
