If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
