i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
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