dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize