I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
last night I used snow as a chaser
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
