pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
