So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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