I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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