bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
