Dual....:-)
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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