just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
