For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
