doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize