goodnight i made you a song goodbye
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
