theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
did you just send me my own nude
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Randomize
