I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
