I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
