we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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