question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
