She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
