Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
