i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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