Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
