I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Randomize
