I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
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