I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
