can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
