I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
