1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
