Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
