And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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