new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
