No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
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