so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
