yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Randomize
