Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
