Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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