dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize
