so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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