he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize