It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
