1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
