My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
