Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
