dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
