it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
