Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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