WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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