woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
