Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
