Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Come share oat with me in your robe
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Randomize
