my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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