omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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