Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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