you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
