Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
